She knew he was happy - very happy - he loved the kids, loved her, treasured their life. His dedication showed through in the way he helped around the house, and the sacrifices he made for her to pursue the degree. When she would arrive home at the end of a day on campus he would have garlic pesto ricotta ziti on the stove and a salad already tossed. The kids would be calm in the living room up to their elbows in stacks of library books. And he was still smiling and gorgeous. His joy and contentment was reaching a point of insufferability with her.
Even their sex life satisfied him - not that she felt it lacking at all. He seemed so pleased and energetic even to go at it with and for her often enough and surprisingly passionately for a couple that had been together through all those years; since they were sophomores in college; through the birth of three kids and now the sheer routine of 12 years of life. How was it that he was this way and that she found herself so lost?
She would catch herself flirting with her thesis advisor and nearly propositioning her co-worker. Why with such a wonderful man did she feel any lack at all?
She would have counted it depression if she could find reason to... but for all her trying to analyze it she wasn't sad, hadn't given up her goals, didn't feel constantly defeated, and the only thing that persisted for more than a few weeks was intense lust. Crushes were one thing, she knew, where you develop feelings and attraction to someone and thus fantasize about them somewhat -either as a romantic partner who served some emotional or social purpose or a sexual partner who would provide some sort of something in ed that you couldn't easily get at home in your current relationship.
This wasn't a crush at all. She rarely thought about the men except when in their presence. Then she would be provocative beyond the point of friendly flirtation.
She had been lucky too. She had up until now found herself acting this way only toward those who would spurn her advances. She felt voracious out in the world among others.
As sure as she knew she loved the man who had taken her hand for life, she knew she was only days away from sex with some stranger and felt nearly powerless to stop it.
- - -
When he walked into their bedroom days later to find her sweaty body with another man, blood rushed through his broken heart as quickly as it flowed to the growing malignant mass in her brain tissue...
Even their sex life satisfied him - not that she felt it lacking at all. He seemed so pleased and energetic even to go at it with and for her often enough and surprisingly passionately for a couple that had been together through all those years; since they were sophomores in college; through the birth of three kids and now the sheer routine of 12 years of life. How was it that he was this way and that she found herself so lost?
She would catch herself flirting with her thesis advisor and nearly propositioning her co-worker. Why with such a wonderful man did she feel any lack at all?
She would have counted it depression if she could find reason to... but for all her trying to analyze it she wasn't sad, hadn't given up her goals, didn't feel constantly defeated, and the only thing that persisted for more than a few weeks was intense lust. Crushes were one thing, she knew, where you develop feelings and attraction to someone and thus fantasize about them somewhat -either as a romantic partner who served some emotional or social purpose or a sexual partner who would provide some sort of something in ed that you couldn't easily get at home in your current relationship.
This wasn't a crush at all. She rarely thought about the men except when in their presence. Then she would be provocative beyond the point of friendly flirtation.
She had been lucky too. She had up until now found herself acting this way only toward those who would spurn her advances. She felt voracious out in the world among others.
As sure as she knew she loved the man who had taken her hand for life, she knew she was only days away from sex with some stranger and felt nearly powerless to stop it.
- - -
When he walked into their bedroom days later to find her sweaty body with another man, blood rushed through his broken heart as quickly as it flowed to the growing malignant mass in her brain tissue...
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